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Why do you need to control your ego?
Ego is a term used in Eastern spirituality, for example in Buddhism. The ego designates the “me above all”, or more precisely the me as the center of concerns, egocentrism, as opposed to seeking to blend into the larger while aligning one's will with what reason dictates to us.
Here we offer a definition of ego that highlights three human instincts that harm our ability to live in harmony with others:
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The ego is firstly made up of social ambition, that is to say the desire to be above others in terms of social rank. We find this meaning in the popular expression “having a big ego”.
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The ego then consists of the refusal to comply with constraints, that is to say, to limit one's pleasure to avoid harming others. This aspect refers to the notion of all power. Frustration is an indispensable component of any civilized social life.
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The ego is finally made up of our desire to bend reality to our vision of the world, our beliefs.
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Every spiritual school, as well as every educational method, has an ego control component. However, it is important to note that if we want to obtain a significant result in terms of quality of living together, we must fight against the three aspects of the ego. Let us now examine the consequences of insufficient struggle, regarding each aspect of the ego:
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Regarding social ambition, we can take as an example some of our Western social environments where we practice the cult of success. Indeed, there is a glorified image of the individual who succeeds by his own means, but the sociological reality is an amplification of nepotistic instincts to ensure the success of his offspring, therefore of the game of alliances, and of violence. social that results from it. This results in serious consequences in terms of stress for all individuals.
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An insufficient struggle against omnipotence results in two ways. On the one hand by incivility, with individuals who no longer respect the rules of common life, not because they are not adapted to the circumstances in which they choose to transgress them, but because cheating is perceived as “ be smarter“ instead of being a source of shame. On the other hand, the other is no longer seen as a suffering being, with whom one should show compassion and solidarity, but as a tool that one can use in the best of one's personal interests.
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Finally, placing our beliefs above the facts leads to dogmatism. This prevents us from adapting and changing our behavior when facts accumulate showing that the strategy we have chosen is not working. This results in all levels of nuisance, from a loved one who we do not help, because we consider that it is up to them to normalize themselves, that is to say incorporating our own beliefs, to sending heretics at the stake to silence the contradiction.
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Let us also point out that the excesses of the ego have two origins. Some are inherited from - and common to - our social environment. Defeating them presupposes being able to individualize oneself in the face of the group, which refers to the problem addressed in the question 'What is an adult?'. Others are more individual and have as their source a childhood narcissistic injury. In this case, the first step is to properly identify this source. Finally, in both cases, a significant part of the work consists of getting rid of simplistic explanations that externalize the problem or beliefs that essentialize it.
The sublimation of the ego
The sublimation of the ego consists of putting one's abilities, one's energy, at the service of higher causes, which exceed us, as opposed to putting them at the service of one's little selfish self. This corresponds to a shift from the search for pleasure to the search for ataraxia. This also corresponds to the shift from the search for individual happiness, possibly to the detriment of others, to the search for collective happiness.
Go deeper
See questions'Is the goal of life happiness?' And 'What is the purpose of life?'
For an explanation of the different strategies used by the individual when he does not control the social ambition dimension of his ego, see the question 'What are the consequences of social ambition? The notion of generalized nepotism.'
See question 'Why is minimality desirable?'
Finally see the question 'What is awakening?' which evokes the spiritual path based on the disappearance of the ego.
↣ Definition of ego on Wikipedia
In the Wikipedia article concerning Jainism, in the paragraph 'Absence of pride', consult the list of the 8 forms of pride proposed.
↣ Jainism on Wikipedia