What is a well-functioning family?

A well-functioning family is a family in which you can be yourself:


There is a mechanism for rational conflict resolution, based on facts, not dogmas or the social status of the protagonists.


People are kind to each other.


The exchanges are of the exchange of experience type.


We feel supported, because we are aware of the deep difficulties that other members are facing, and vice versa.

All these elements derive very largely from the first.

What is a family that does not work well?

Conversely, here is what characterizes families that do not work:


Some individuals attack others, either by pathology, or to protect the lie to themselves, or simply to ensure a higher social rank (this is one of the aspects of generalized nepotism) or advantages.


We hold roles, and we are asked to conform to them.


There are family myths that we are asked not to question.


We are alone in the face of our deep difficulties.

Difficulty building a well-functioning family

The great difficulty is generally the lack of fully adult individuals, i.e.:


Able to look at the facts objectively, without being biased by lying to oneself (because of beliefs).


Able to oppose other family members, not to improve their personal position, but to ensure the smooth functioning of the group.


Consult the question 'What is an adult?'.


2022-09-07 11:34:28 Amelie remarks

Le partage et l'ecoute sont pour selon moi deux principes fondamentaux dans le fonctionnement de la famille. Dans une famille, chaque personne a des idees differentes et c'est important de respecter les idees de tous.

2022-09-09 22:32:39 Hubert   

Attention à ne pas confondre les idées et les croyances. Les croyances sont les choses que l'on conserve même quand les faits viennent les remettre en question. Toujours garder à l'esprit que quand il y a des croyances, il y a généralement des victimes quelque part, et que c'est elles qui méritent le plus notre respect.

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