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↖ Homepage of the site 'What to do with your life?' Do not judgeWhat is usually meant by 'do not judge': not expressing a negative opinion about a person. The hidden motivations behind the injunction not to express negative opinions about a personAt first glance, 'Do not judge others' may seem like a sign of tolerance and is generally claimed as such.
To better explain this concealment of real intentions, let us recall that there are two major lethal alliance strategies, which are two sides of the same coin:
In both cases, it sufficed to place a belief, or a rule (do not judge), above facts, in order to be able to judge on an arbitrary basis (a belief or a rule). The injunction 'do not judge' therefore appears to us above all as a fundamentalism of the privileged; to the slogan 'it is forbidden to forbid' from 1968, one could well oppose 'do not judge on the basis of not judging.' Nevertheless, when judging, it is important to carefully choose the criteria:
Hidden motivations behind judgments regarding what is unacceptableCrying out loudly that something is absolutely unacceptable, and possibly reinforcing this stance by criticizing judicial laxity regarding it, is often just a way to resolve one's own cognitive dissonance. More precisely, this cognitive dissonance lies between, on the one hand, the multiple revolting things about which one does nothing, as well as the many small arrangements one makes to improve one's social position through the game of alliances, and on the other hand, the image of a generally moral person that one wishes to maintain about oneself. Choosing a subject and gesturing loudly thus allows one, on the one hand, to hide from oneself all the subjects on which one dares not intervene (see the question 'What is an adult?'), and on the other hand, to hide all the subjects for which the attitude adopted is difficult to defend from a moral standpoint (in the sense of the common interest). In such a frequent life configuration, one tends to make a separation between, on the one hand, what is less moral than oneself, which one qualifies as unacceptable, and on the other hand, what is more moral than oneself, which one qualifies as idealistic or extreme. Paradoxically, that is where one often joins the camp of 'do not judge others' on almost all subjects except the one (or the few) against which (which) one has chosen to openly launch a campaign. Do not oppose what ought to be to what is.As soon as one interposes 'what ought to be' between oneself and what is, one absolves oneself of responsibility. Let us recall that adopting the right attitude means applying Epictetus's recommendation: facing a problem, separate what is within one's control from what is not. Fight with all one's strength, determination, and intelligence on the part that is within one's control, and do not worry uselessly about the part that is not. However, as soon as one interposes 'what ought to be' between oneself and what is, one considers that the gap between what is and what ought to be is not within one's control. Here is an example of interposing what ought to be: 'People should be less materialistic.' Once this judgment is made, one exempts oneself from the necessity of fighting against inequalities, and primarily from putting one's own resources at the service of the more needy. To be constructive, 'do not judge' must therefore be understood as: not interposing 'what ought to be' between oneself and observed reality. Stoic morality can be summarized as: one does not choose one's fate, one chooses how to face it. However, the formulation by Epictetus remains more pedagogical, as is ACT psychotherapy. DeepenConsult the questions: The linked article below describes and denounces, without formulating the concept, the alliance strategy in so-called tolerant mode: ↣ From eco-responsible, I went to unfrequented The principle 'observe and do not judge' at the basis of Montessori education corresponds to the same concern of restoring primacy to facts and limiting reference to what ought to be. What we have described here is a finding at the basis of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) developed by Albert Ellis:
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