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Do not judge

What is commonly understood by 'do not judge': not expressing negative opinions about a person.What one should understand by 'do not judge': not opposing what should be to what is.

The hidden motivations behind the injunction not to express negative opinions about a person

At first glance, 'Do not judge others' might seem to be a sign of tolerance and is often claimed as such.However, upon closer inspection, the motivations that lead to emphasizing each person's freedom to think and act as they please are usually:

To better explain this concealment of real intentions, let us recall that there are two major strategies of deadly alliances, which are two sides of the same coin:

In both cases, it has been sufficient to place a belief, or a rule (not judging), above facts, in order to be able to judge on an arbitrary basis (a belief or a rule).

The injunction 'do not judge' therefore first appears to us as the fundamentalism of the privileged; to the slogan 'it is forbidden to forbid' of 1968, one could well oppose 'do not judge on the basis of not judging'.The demand for tolerance ultimately reveals itself to be what distinguishes the elites, those privileged individuals whose main action is to defend their privileges.

Nevertheless, when one judges, one must carefully choose the criteria:

The hidden motivations behind judgments of what is not acceptable

Shouting loudly that a certain thing is completely unacceptable, and possibly reinforcing this position by criticizing judicial leniency regarding it, is often just a way of resolving one's own cognitive dissonance. More specifically, this cognitive dissonance lies between, on one hand, the many revolting things one does nothing about and the numerous small arrangements one makes to improve one's social position by playing the game of alliances, and on the other hand, the image of a generally moral person one wants to maintain of oneself. Choosing a subject and making a lot of noise about it allows one, on the one hand, to hide from oneself all the issues one dares not to act upon (see the question 'What is an adult?'), and on the other hand, to hide all the issues for which the attitude one adopts is hard to justify from the perspective of morality (understood as the common good).

In such a common configuration of life, one tends to make a distinction between, on one side, what is less moral than oneself, which is labeled as unacceptable, and on the other side, what is more moral than oneself, which is labeled as idealistic or extreme. It is here that, paradoxically, one often aligns with the 'do not judge others' camp on almost all issues except the one (or those few) against which one has chosen to campaign openly.

Not opposing what should be to what is

As soon as one inserts 'what should be' between oneself and what is, one deems oneself free from responsibility.

Let us recall that adopting the right attitude is applying Epictetus' recommendation: in the face of a problem, separate what is up to you from what is not. Strive with all your strength, determination, and intelligence on the part that is up to you, and do not unnecessarily worry about the part that is not up to you. However, as soon as one has inserted 'what should be' between oneself and what is, one considers the gap between what is and what should be to be something not up to oneself.

Here is an example of inserting what should be: 'People should be less materialistic.' Once this judgment is made, one is exempt from the need to fight against inequality, and especially from the need to put one's own resources at the service of those in greater need.

In order to be constructive, 'do not judge' must be understood in the following way: do not insert 'what should be' between oneself and the observed reality.

Stoic morality can be summarized as: we do not choose our fate, we choose how to face it. However, Epictetus' formulation remains more pedagogical.

Go deeper

Consult the questions:The myth of listening and good atmosphere
What is Buddhist non-duality?
What should one do to be a good person?
What is an adult?

The article linked below describes and denounces, without formulating the concept, the alliance strategy in the so-called tolerant mode:

↣ From eco-responsible, I went to unfrequented

The principle of 'observe and not judge,' at the basis of Montessori education, corresponds to the same concern of giving primacy to facts, limiting reference to what should be.

What we have described here is an observation that lies at the basis of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), a psychotherapy method developed by Albert Ellis:'Ellis’s philosophy contains elements of constructivism. Specifically, Ellis maintained that all humans create ideas of how the world is or ought to be.'