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What is an adult?

I propose here a division into stages of development, à la Jean Piaget.


Learn social rules.


Learns and practices the game of alliances without parental support.


Able to confront the group when it denies the facts.

The adult stage supposes accepting to suffer the consequence, namely a possible exclusion from the group.

Note also that the majority of individuals will never reach the adult stage.

Why is it extremely difficult to become fully adult?

Because we have to confront social groups, and there is a heavy price to pay for that, which is very often the exclusion of these groups, and because this harms, sometimes seriously, our social position.

It is therefore a little less difficult to become fully adult, if:
1. we have received an education that values \u200b\u200bmoral position more than social success, and above all that values \u200b\u200bsincerity more than posture.
2. you are part of a privileged environment in which survival is not the main concern.

Although... Let's take for example the document Buddhism, the law of silence by Elodie Emery and Windrille Lanos, broadcast by Arte, and probably available on Youtube.

Prenons un second exemple. Relativement peu de femmes (comparativement aux hommes) ont une attitude directement délétère sur leurs enfants. Pourtant, un nombre plus important d'entre elles auront une attitude indirectement délétère par leur incapacité à s'opposer à leur conjoint. Elles privilégieront en effet la protection du lien conjugal au détriment de leurs enfants. Dans ce second exemple, le groupe social est la cellule familiale (patriarcale). Saluons au passage les nombreuses associations, et personnes anonymes, qui oeuvrent à aider ces femmes à s'émanciper.

Why is it important to become fully adult?

When we do not become fully adult, cognitive dissonance gradually leads us to lie to ourselves, to preserve the good self-image.

Link with the ability to conduct serious reasoning and make decisions in the general interest

When one does not become fully adult, one becomes incapable of conducting serious reasoning and making decisions in accordance with the general interest, not only out of conscious self-interest, but because one becomes locked into one's own lies to oneself.

Summary and objective

Becoming fully adult is the only way to age well, to feel good in life without the need for permanent distractions (consumerism, organized trips, honors, power, etc.) to hide one's own misery, but it is an extremely demanding way.

This leads many people to claim that they were given these abnormally favorable conditions, so as not to have to look at the compromises they entered into, that cognitive dissonance gradually enabled them to hide themselves through self-deception. Let's also not forget all those who having shamelessly played the game of alliances, and lost, often claim that they lost ... because of moral scruples.

One of the main objectives of this site, and of the association which will be born, is to connect people who make the demanding choice to become fully adults, because it is easier to overcome a trial when one is surrounded by

Go deeper

See the question 'Do all humans operate on the same model? How can you not be fooled?' and especially its sub-page 'Details of the reasoning which we used to construct this page' to understand the notion of mature individual that we propose there, which corresponds more to a capacity not to put up resistance in the face of the facts, it is say to renounce lies as a tool for social progress.
We also find this other dimension of maturity in the questions 'What do you have to do to be a good person? and 'Why do you need to control your ego?'.
However, as we show in dealing with the question 'What does it take to be a good person?', not opposing the facts is not enough, because of the effect of dissonance cognitive. In the long term, it becomes necessary to be able to oppose the group, that is to say to be an adult in the sense of this question.


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