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What is an adult?

I propose here a division into stages of development, à la Jean Piaget.

The adult stage supposes accepting to suffer the consequence, namely a possible exclusion from the group.

Note also that the majority of individuals will never reach the adult stage.

Why is it extremely difficult to become fully adult?

Because we have to confront social groups, and there is a heavy price to pay for that, which is very often the exclusion of these groups, and because this harms, sometimes seriously, our social position.

It is therefore a little less difficult to become fully adult, if:
1. we have received an education that values \u200b\u200bmoral position more than social success, and above all that values \u200b\u200bsincerity more than posture.
2. you are part of a privileged environment in which survival is not the main concern.

Although... Let's take for example the document Buddhism, the law of silence by Elodie Emery and Windrille Lanos, broadcast by Arte, and probably available on Youtube.

Let's take a second example. Relatively few women (compared to men) have a directly harmful attitude towards their children. However, a greater number of them will have an attitude that is indirectly harmful through their inability to oppose their spouse. They will in fact favor the protection of the marital bond to the detriment of their children. In this second example, the social group is the (patriarchal) family unit. Let us salute in passing the numerous associations, and anonymous individuals, who work to help these women to emancipate themselves. For a more precise explanation of this mechanism, refer to the question 'Ending the abusive use of psychotropic drugs and psychotherapies'.

Why is it important to become fully adult?

When we do not become fully adult, cognitive dissonance gradually leads us to lie to ourselves, to preserve the good self-image.

Link with the ability to conduct serious reasoning and make decisions in the general interest

When one does not become fully adult, one becomes incapable of conducting serious reasoning and making decisions in accordance with the general interest, not only out of conscious self-interest, but because one becomes locked into one's own lies to oneself.

Summary and objective

Becoming fully adult is the only way to age well, to feel good in life without the need for permanent distractions (consumerism, organized trips, honors, power, etc.) to hide one's own misery, but it is an extremely demanding way.

This leads many people to claim that they were given these abnormally favorable conditions, so as not to have to look at the compromises they entered into, that cognitive dissonance gradually enabled them to hide themselves through self-deception. Let's also not forget all those who having shamelessly played the game of alliances, and lost, often claim that they lost ... because of moral scruples.

One of the main objectives of this site, and of the association which will be born, is to connect people who make the demanding choice to become fully adults, because it is easier to overcome a trial when one is surrounded by

Go deeper

See the question 'Do all humans operate on the same model? How can you not be fooled?' and especially its sub-page 'Details of the reasoning which we used to construct this page' to understand the notion of mature individual that we propose there, which corresponds more to a capacity not to put up resistance in the face of the facts, it is say to renounce lies as a tool for social progress.
Dis moi comment tu prends les décisions, je te dirai qui tu es' pour comprendre la notion d'individu mature que nous y proposons, qui correspond plus à une capacité de ne pas opposer de résistance face aux faits, c'est dire de renoncer au mensonge comme outil de progression sociale.
On retrouve aussi cette autre dimension de maturité au niveau des questions 'Que faut-il faire pour être quelqu'un de bien ?' et 'Pourquoi faut-il maîtriser son ego ?'.
However, as we show in dealing with the question 'What does it take to be a good person?', not opposing the facts is not enough, because of the effect of dissonance cognitive. In the long term, it becomes necessary to be able to oppose the group, that is to say to be an adult in the sense of this question.Que faut-il faire pour être quelqu'un de bien ?', ne pas s'opposer aux faits n'est pas suffisant, à cause de l'effet de la dissonance cognitive. Sur le long terme, il devient nécessaire d'être capable de s'opposer au groupe, c'est à dire être adulte au sens de la présente question.